If thats the case, keep your tone light, polite, and kind, while also calling out on his behavior that you find inexcusable. Thanks BLaw. I deactivated my own Facebook account for a while. I dont know. The only thing that I asked him to do was to promise me that he would tell me if he no longer wanted to see me. Trying to find the solution to the problem is always a good approach. Guys out there, emotions and love are scary for the first few times. Then after that conversation he just vanished. I have read others experiences here and it sounds like many have been through worse (being ghosted after months of dating/being ghosted by the same person multiple times), the burn that I felt initially was insignificant compared to what others commentators had been through. Despite this occurrence, I took him up on an offer to go to his bayhouse for a day trip that upcoming weekend. We said our good byes hugged and went our ways. Im going through this with a guy and its so not fair that he pushes me away because I WANT TO BE THERE. Maybe hes not over his ex and still lacks trust in women. Its way too obvious that hes ghosting you on purpose and you want to get answers. This went on for a month. I am honest in my interactions and friendly and Im not judgemental. Then here we are at the ninth month mark. Hes told me he loves me and very emotional things, but in the past week or so hes pulled back, and has been cold. When your ex finds random excuses to contact you and message you, it's definite that your ex misses you. Im pretty confident he will be back and then you can tell him youre not into games.see ya. I lived with parents so I about to spend my money on renting some place to be with him when he comes, i researched about hotel near the airport which was he asked me for and trip planning blah blah I dont mine to spend money with him because he have to pay a lot to get here to meet me I never expected him to pay all, thats what I think, look what i get back, nothing, he never answer my email. Yet, I seem to keep bumping into same type of selfish boys. but I was feeling so emotionally exhausted, and tired I decided to call him out on it..humorously of course since confrontation is not my strongest point. It IS lonely at the top. He told me he wanted to have sex with me but I didnt know what to answer because I freaked out. This has literally been a nightmare. Dont waste another minute thinking about him and dont text him again!! Gets easier each day. They dont keep on deliberately meeting other people to make sure they have shopped around for the best deal. Or maybe her timing is off and hes pre-occupied for a full exchange. Keep your boundaries respected, dont depend your joy on a text, and dont allow him to shake your values with immature gestures. If I dont initiate, he wont reply. Don't kid yourself or make excuses for the guy. He honestly did everything for me and now he didnt even care to say happy birthday to me. He totally disappeared. Your opinion is priceless Holly Golightly I couldnt have said it better myself, you should write a book! I told him in front of other people that I dont want to see him never again. He told me to text when I got home, which I did, thanking him for everything and told him I had a great time. But then you could always leave something you really dont need there just to see if he cares enough to call you to get it back to you. Although, I guess his past relationships were a good indicator of how he has trouble being with anyone normal. And then he was goneI texted, I emailed asking if everything was okno reply. If a day later, I hadn texted him back, I get a sorry I texted you by mistake I meant that for my friend R, not you. And that hurts that he couldnt even via email thank me back for the beautiful moments weve shared. His phone went straight to voicemail, I texted him, no reply.My housemate then called his phone and it went straight to voicemail aswell. We finally texting each other and everything was just going awesome. I just think that women tend to be too quick to say that a man doesnt care over something as silly as not calling them every 5 seconds. I left on a positive note and we didnt argue . Luckily things did not get intimate but I dont understand why his style of ghosting. Believe me, he will pick up on small incongruencies in your behaviour and a lack of attraction on your part, some women can be incredibly flaky. Why do they go missing just to come back days or weeks later? she texted me straight up to ask if i was religious, what are my politics, and do i want kids and how many. If he dates other women because you and him havent discussed being exclusive that could be another reason why you might not hear from him for a day or two, hes juggling. You dont have to be insulting to tell them why. I dont know what people do in these cases. He is not a stable person and MAY never be. Fast forward, to a year ago. Long story short (to the best of my ability), I met a guy online. We spoke or texted every single day, normally many times throughout the day. Perfect timing! Thanks. unaware (or perhaps aware) of the agony I went through the whole weekend..I acted normal of course and was my usual pleasant self pretending that everything was cool. He stopped answering my calls, I checked on his Facebook and he was actually having fun. I thought this guy was different. We argued got angry with each and came to a mutual agreement/resolved so therefore I thought things were good between us. I feel disappointed, he had most of the qualities l was looking for but l guess he lost interest. I asked him if we could talk as I still had feelings for him but instead he just opened my messages and ignored me then blocked me off all social media. My boyfriend Kenny dumped me on Valentines Day, since he break up with me 1) his attraction to you probably wasnt very strong; many guys do this, they multiple date and love the attention and the options. We are both runners. There must be something wrong with the way you pick guys, thats how it seems to me. I thought Id wait a while and then text him saying, Hey dont forget I have your hard drive. Step by step, it will take you from where you are now - disappointed, confused, and frustrated - into a healthy, happy, relationship where you feel unconditionally loved. then he got a little busy and one day he was suppose to see me after work but he said he fell asleep and I noticed him being a little distant. Its rude as hell for him to ignore your texts/phone calls, and he doesnt deserve to have his hard drive back. Its been three weeks now that I have heard nothing. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. I did this with a guy I was dating and when he didnt respond to my text, I didnt ask why and I didnt put out more than I was getting; that way I didnt feel cheated when we stopped talking. I sent another text in response to the soccer game that we were going to talk about that evening and he hasnt even read it (based on Whatsapp). For me, it was what I wanted. Interested men with continue to show interest. So what if we shared the best sex of our lives? I thought that was very rude and of course it hurts. The problem is some guys arent honest enough to tell you he doesnt want the same things, so he tells you he does and then does the bare minimum just to keep you around. Interpersonal attraction, which is the strength of emotions of love and how we feel for the other person, has dimmed because of a lack of similarity. Ever have a guy pull a vanishing act on you? It was nice and we connected very well. Im going to back off my guy and focus on me. But no, days passed and he didnt care. People just vanish both men and women. He knows that what hes doing is wrong but he doesnt really want to stop since he doesnt think that you have seen through him. While he may be older that does not bring wisdom. But I brushed it off maybe hes busy or something. After seventeen days I was stressed at his sudden ghosting, I missed him and the situation was nagging me, haunting me, and so I decided to go to his home fifty minutes drive away and confront him. Leave these boys behind and continue moving forward. Sorry to hear this happened to you. From text msgs to phone calls that last hours and hours. He wants to make you like him. But maybe if you give him space like he said he will come around Just keep doing things to keep you busy and avoid waiting around for him to call. I was a bit disappointed but I replied that it is better to be just friend. The fact you wrote, I may never get over it, tells me you like the idea of the emotional intimacy which is why I wrote the second paragraph. Lol. This article was good, but I still am one who wants closure. Usually he was the one who always write me first, I just waited for him Now Im thinking if Im going to casual write him Im confused. Maybe hes goin through a family issue? Then come back, then two weeks, on and on. not because i was in love with him, but because i truly could not believe that someone could do that to another human being. Ummm, wow. Several days ago, my friends, who didnt know that me and him are no longer together, met him at the bar. Its all the new norm and for those of us who were fortunate enough to have a wonderful upbringing (which is rare nowadays), then we can look at ourselves in the mirror and be thankful we cannot or will not stoop to such lowlife activities. But to keep viewing my profile thats fd up. You were physically, emotionally, and mentally attracted. But dont hold your breath waiting for that. I have no idea what Ive done. We chatted online and on the phone every day, he toned the conversation down a bit so I didnt panic and run off again. I care about me and my personal wellbeing. It was just so shady and the part that annoys me is why say youre gonna come pick a girl up if youre not? Hes not an idiot so I cant believe he would think Im still going but I feel its something I should do. I met a guy online. But immediately replies to my texts. That can not be about me. We saw each other 8 times over those 3 weeks. It has been a struggle everyday to not think about it and wonder why or how he could do such a horrible thing without saying anything. Find someone new to spend time with, go out with your friends. He said I thought I gave you the green light to reach out to me. He has been on FB every single day though. I didnt want to involve my family or friends just as yet. The work commitments do get in the way as basically he has to travel away and I also work with my music projects as well ( all checked out and very genuine). Or do I just wait to see if he asks for it back? But theres the idea that he thinks I will wait. )- but that doesnt seem like the situation here- guys cant wait to meet women. Typical short dicked man mentality. We was very attentive and kept messaging me even when he was at work. 3. He wanted to meet me on a sunday morning but he was a no show. He said yeah because she noticed that you are my page and it upset her. And I questioned myself a lot if I wasnt good enough for him, if I ever did something wrong to him, if I wasnt pretty enough compare to another girls. Even if you happen to have a talk with him, don't force yourself to listen to him if you don't want to. I took the opportunity to talk to him again when he sent me something on one of the social media and told him that he was clearly ignoring me and hasnt said anything, I knew he opened it so I got upset and told him that I would be completely backing away now and that he could delete me off every social media. I let my friends talk me out of confronting him much sooner than I did. Mine waited over 3 months and just in time for my birthday. Hes either lazy or its just a cop out. It is exactly what I needed to read. I feel so horrible for losing my composure and class. They should at least be honest and give the relationship closure. NEEDLSS TO SAY Saturday morning came and with no response, I noticed he had REMOVED me from social media and made himself private. Soon never arrived. Ur amazing! He doesnt deserve your attention or time and you wont be giving them to him from this point on. Although, I guess his past relationships were a good indicator of how he has trouble being with anyone normal. We ended up spending 24hours together and had a really great conversation and I was supportive about the journey he was on, fresh out of his relationship and encouraging him to figure it out. Him straight up I wouldnt be sleeping with him or anything and he knew that. On monday of the next week he texted me saying he wanted to see me which I answered that I did so. I went through the EXACT same thing with a guy, and it turned out there was someone else in his life and I was the girl on the side. My ex fianc would do this sometimes, mostly when he was stressed. Ignoring someone youve been dating for months is one of them. Hes not worthy and/or not really into you and not excited to carry on seeing you. Relationships unfold organically, at the right time, and not after a series of pointless dates with strangers. I just have to keep telling myself that he only keeps coming back to me because he thinks I will take him back and to not to be his back pocket girl. I did not respond to his last. And we can ask for what we deserve. I wish he hadnt initiated all of the things/situations which indicate some sort of seriousness or interest (meeting a child, celebrating a birthday). By the time, the woman reaches 30 hes had 100 men riding the c&CKK carousel. Everything just seemed to go so perfectly on the last date, I just dont understand how he couldve acted the way he acted and said the things he said if he wasnt interested. about an hour went by and I call him he did not pick up at emailed him he didnt respond so what then I went to Facebook to message him at that point I realized that he had unfriended me. Did you get to see the last episode of GOT? ?IVE NEVER BEEN SO IN LOVE. . I was very calm about it , which is better because they expect the opposite. Basically, even when you do get the closure, or just A answer, it almost always leaves you feeling as confused as if he had just vanished and never said why. From this point on mine waited over 3 months and just in time for my birthday but theres the that... Your values with immature gestures, days passed and he doesnt deserve to have sex with me but I am! He was a bit disappointed but I still am one who wants closure opinion is priceless Holly Golightly I have... 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