I dont know if Im being dramatic but its just hard sometimes when you feel like you love someone more than they love you. He tells me he is going to bed and we will talk about tomorrow. Seriously, he was amazing. Then I come home to him sleeping in bed. We getting in touch again at beginning of this year, 20 years after we know each other, he put effort in to win me at the beginning then went quiet, I was annoyed. Sometimes he will notice mistakes I make on the work but not notice how much I need his affection. Im 47, and he is 57 now, and we have been together for 10 years now and have lived together for 8 years. If youre depressed by my first tip on what to do when your boyfriend makes no effort in your relationship (accept him for who he is right now), Ive got good news for you! And when I ask him what hes been doing that he cant call me, he gives me horrible excuses. No calling. I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years and weve known each other for 10 years. I was very prioritized in his life before but now he does not want to place me as high on his priority list anymore. Before that weve only met to chat, watch a movie or take a walk. That also means i cant get a job either. But he still makes no effort in even recognizing relationship milestones like anniversaries, but he has done romantic things for the girl he chased for 6 years. Last Valentines Day, we got into a fight because I had put in all this effort to put together a special night and he literally didnt do a single thing. I suppose its not at all about him but when I have time to think, my mind goes to him. I feel sad when I see these things and feel left unheard and unseen by my so-called partner. Also, he says he is claustrophobic and that a lot of kissing makes him feel smothered. I guess subconsciously I acted that way because hes quite lazy and I didnt want to cut him any slack in fear that he would put in less effort to maintain the long distance. You are strong. I just cant understand or relate to his lack of effort anymore. He says he loves me and cares for me but I never hear him talking of the future or wanting me to be his wife. Lets see whats they do. Any facetimes we would do were 90% instigated by me. Am so confused I dont rilly know what to do . second: (and here is the big thing!) No dates, no presents, no initiating anything or trying to make me feel special. We went on a trip. He Wants You To Approach Him First. You arent asking for too much. he said he had been trying to email me but i dont rlly believe it I never got anything. One of the best things to do when youre confused about your relationship is to pull back and try to see yourself and your boyfriend more objectively. It sounds that you need to work on yourself first. Hi im kushi, 25yrs old.. My boyfriend and I have been in our relationship for 3yrs now.. Except for the kissing part and in my case i see him even less (once a month) but in my case he lost several family members since Ive known him so i know hes dealing with that. He was wearing them every day when he started his new job. Hes always been so affectionate towards me, always wanted us to be happy so we got together. Been with my boyfriend 2 years.he told me he smokes pot, which than i said im not supporting your habbit (which i meant financially). It only got better when the pandemic hit and it seemed like we wouldnt see each other very much although we live 10 minutes apart in different towns. I am learning. im not sure what to do anymore. I wasnt looking but I found it. I know he is a shy guy, this isnt personal to me hes like it with his friends and they have shared this with me. So me and my bf have been dating fur about 5 months now. We go no where, we do nothing. Another thing that bothers me is he will ask me about my day or some other question, then when I answer, he switches the subject back to himself. When you're unpredictable, he'll get more excited when you reach out. Theres always a chance that this will trigger self-reflection, and he will crawl back, and you can decide whether to give a second chance. HE ACTED LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. When i say effort drops off, he takes hours to reply to me despite being very active on social media and those replies are one word conversation enders, isnt bothered about spending time with me, tells me he is busy with his family, but I will find out hes actually with his friends, I plan days out in advance but he makes me aware he wont be able to attend because of workbut then when the time comes round to it, he is free but is going out with his friends in advance. We dont stay up on call anymore, and last night we were on call for forty minutes and thats only because I begged him; however, the whole time, not a single conversation came out of it. I know that probably sounds silly but his replies are shorter and he doesnt joke around with me like he used to do. We no longer sleep in the same bed, he has chosen to sleep on the couch. We are in LDR. If youve been together for a long time (a 7 or 8 on that relationship scale at the beginning of this article), then maybe you can see that your boyfriend isnt making an effort because hes dealing with serious issues in other parts of his life. Please take some money you get from promotion and go to Counseling to help you. I suffer from depression and when we argue it can put me In to a bad spell of lying in my bed crying for days and he just ignores me. The sex? He cheated on me and the worst part is that he left like me a cigarette butt. Now my mom did not know about my boyfriend i was afraid to tell her cause she probably wouldnt approve that he didnt go to school. FUnny thing is that he will get on a call with an annoying know it all bitch he works remotely with and chat. I would go on my off days when I wasnt in collehe classes or work. Hot and cold. Texts are still slow. We getting in touch a few years ago, but it didnt last long, didnt end it either, he just went to silent. I dont understand why he wouldnt make you diner when you took out all the ingredients. Were both still full time students living at home. Im sorry, and I know it can be a really hard thing to do, but you need to leave. So I stopped doing that and now treat him like just a friend. Thats the one thing that i really expect. When I have tried to speak about it again, he makes me feel as if its my fault, when he doesnt see his change in actions are making me stressed and anxious. I really get frustrated with him often because he does not want to let me go, but yet he can not do what I ask of him. He ignores you. I have no friends no interest in men, I cant even stand it when strangers try to talk to me. But he reminds me almost daily that he thinks Im lazy and should be working at if Im not in school. I dont do things just to expect it in return but you just want reassurance that youre appreciated. I asked him a couple of times why he doesnt put any effort and he just told me since we live together I shouldnt have to and I get that point but it doesnt mean just completely give up on putting a effort into the relationship. We were friends for about 2 years before I gave him a shot and when we were still just friends he would try to spend as much time with me as possible and hangout all the time. Maybe he was tired or stressed out, maybe the honeymoon stage was simply over. BUT both have to put in the work and if its not happening the work then its not happening and we are settling. I would NEVER drop my whole life for a Man! Our honeymoon ended way sooner than for others. Could it be that he lost interest in me? He now expects this but does not reciprocate. Keep in mind, he does suffer from depression here and there where he has no energy at times and finds no pleasure in anything. Just think about how you can start fresh with a new guy (or two) and pick out someone who will do things with you, cuddle and kiss on the couch, spend time searching for the perfect gift, and keep his word about when hes coming over. I made it to the driveway before I felt so uncomfortable I ran inside to put on jeans and a tee shirt. Its exhausting when you are the one doing the heavy lifting. He does not feel like he should go the extra mile to do anything as long as you know he loves you. Also He text slow and we converse only when we have some argument. I feel like he doesnt love me as much as he used to. After being ignored all week he told me he was going on a boys trip, except he failed to mention he was already on the road out of town. Its now Tuesday, nothing. Honestly,I am fully aware I do not want a relationship with someone who acts like this and makes me feel this way, but I am in love with him and our relationship is great, when he gives 100% which I can not let go of, when right now its about 10%. But Im not certain its not because he now wants to hurry to get the house finished and sell it while the market is hot. Hes now working at a new job since Jan and its great! Why doesnt he ever randomly surprise me, try to plan out dates, put a lot of thought into gifts, etc. When you feel as though your partner isn't giving you the attention you deserve, it can be incredibly frustrating, confusing, and hurtful. I then left home and came back a later day. I am always will to do anything however since I love notice it was only me doing it Ive been reluctant. but i told him nah! I decided to go back to my place, after wards he decided to send me a text saying we should take a break just like that. But the good things about that is, by then you honestly love and care about yourself much more than you do love him. I want to stress that YOU DID NOTHING WRONG by vocalizing your needs and something you crave in a relationship. My boyfriend got busy with his work, which is busier due to quarantine, and stopped putting in his usual thoughtful effort, so I stopped putting out, and now Im about to break up with him. this article is useful, thank you. I say I never give advice, but this is one thing I want you to know: you have to build a life outside your relationship with your boyfriend. He said he would change, but he said that before. I bought him a beautiful set of cufflinks from his university for Christmas. I miss my best friend and I hate that it feels like maybe hes not missing me as much as I do. Right now I feel like Im an inconvenience to him. It just seems like a cliche movie begining or something. He also spends all is money on one of purchases like 600 pound shoes and then moans to borrow money while I foot the bill for car expenses etc.I feel like the only time he cuddles me is when he wants sex and if I have an excuse he immediately pulls away. He has never had a serious relationship so he doesnt know that we could have gone through it together. maybe its because im his first gf and he doesnt know exactly how to treat one, but it still makes me sad to think that he might not love me that much. However, I started to notice some changes in him, subtle ones. Is your boyfriend an emotionally unavailable man? I told him i was confused and he said he was dealing with smthn and didnt feel like saying what it was but instead he took it out on me. I am like at the I dont know what to do stage right now my boyfriend is not even home because I told him to just leave we got together super fast and since the beginning I noticed that he wasnt affectionate at all but I thought he might be shy but as time passed he still is non affectionate at all! He would always talk about me meeting his family and he discussed me moving in with him eventually. I honestly think we have a future together, but Im not his priority right now and I wonder if the possible future is worth fighting for. Even though hes not there, I definitely dont sit home pining away for him. Im 22 & hes 25 , why arent we fucking like rabbits? Im sorry but what hes doing is horrible, really bad boyfriend in my eyes. Sry forgot to put this i didnt know if I could or not but where Im at its not illegal plus I was 16 and he was 18 but. Because honestly when I do he always comes back around. Im certain when he got up in the middle of the night drunk and angry because I was trying to cuddle and woke him up (he got dressed and turned all the lights on to start manically cleaning the house) that he probably threw them in the garbage. And mind you the beginning of relationship we always traveled and did things together. Hello Crystal, I am very interested in what you have said, do you mind to give more details please? I tried to talk to him about it multiple times, every time he would apologize and say he would be better, but he always fell back in the same routine. If your partner doesn't pay attention to you, it could come down to one of the six signs below. He tells me constantly how much he loves me.. I suppose I could explain all this to him when he asks if I am upset with him because I am not replying so quickly, but I am nervous about making things weird between us on the project. I met my boyfriend at work. I dont feel that he supports me in my decisions on things. For the first year or two with him, I never had any problems with needing reassurance and words of affirmation from him because he always did it so well. I am depressed as well and yet my partner is on top of my prioroty list. He was a nice guy, we text back and Press J to jump to the feed. We only see each other every one or two weeks at the most. im going through the same thing my boyfriend will not text me nor will he call me when i text him again he reply and said his mother getting on his nerve he goes to her house to take care of her he said he been going through alot with his mom very upset but my thing is what about me where do i fit into your life i dont even know if were still in a relationship my daughter say dont text or call him we been together over a year hes 52 im 55 what should i do im lost, Ive been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. but is a single text or a goodmorning too much to ask? Also, since he fundamentally had no place to live when quarantine first began his ex wife paid for a month for his AirBnB and he said he couldnt tell her about me yet. If you really love him and see potential in the relationship then give it a try. Or stay here and break up. Im sorry. you are still young and you should take this time to learn about yourself and then find the right man that will want a future with you. Thank you so much for what you said! monthly anniversaries, birthdays, gifts, restaurants, and so on everything disappeared after a conflict he said doesnt see a future with me as he barely thinks about his own future. I am not happy in this relationship at all. He told me he loved me within weeks of us meeting. Thank you Sumiah, for your response and your concern. It became so bad that I almost broke up with him. This past week, I got strep throat and was miserable, so I didnt do anything, and since I got antibiotics, Ive been feeling better, but Im debating on doing anything to show him how much I do and how little he does. Here we are stuck in the same pattern, he is hot and heavy in our relationship one month, then goes cold out of nowhere. He doesnt make an effort to recognize and validate your feelings. Thank You for sharing your story. You Are Very Possessive & Insecure about Him. Now he doesnt do any of those, and I miss how it was before. If, however, your boyfriend really has lost interest in you, then you may have to be painfully honest with yourself. In the first year of the relationship it was really good and he made an effort to be with me, and I felt like he really loved me. But I just dont have enough energy to even cry sometimes. he doesnt make efforts and always makes excuse saying that hes too weak to go out and have a date.whenever we see each other we only stay at his room. He will see what he lost. I know youre ignoring me, but I just want to know why or what I did to you? If you He even had a heartbreaking confession that he has been going through the years. Sam I think you should be honest with your girlfriend and tell her this. Or maybe your boyfriend is dealing with an ex-wife and custody issues, and just doesnt have the time or energy to make an effort in your relationship. I decided to tell him how I felt because its always best to tell the other person how you feel. Such as examples of what he did made you feel a certain way and what was the real reason he did that? Recently, despite being together for 5 years, I feel like a booty call. We dont even hug or kiss anymore because people have always yelled PDA! (Stupid high schoolers) so now he wont do any of it. I have a lot of questions, but no answers. I feel you. Im starting to think he doesnt want to marry me. Start taking care of Yourself. But with the current situation with the virus we will probably meet even less. Did his feelings change? Thank you for taking the time to type the words in your comment. Were both not yet married with our partners since both of our relationship with our partners is not okay. I have been with my boyfriend for over 7 months now. He doesnt check up on me to see if Im okay or if I get home okay, and it just hurts me that he never wants to spend time with me when were out drinking with our friends? Then they show us who they really are and we dont want to see. Im confused by this guy I had been seeing before coronavirus lockdown. at the same time, I am wondering why should i wait for him to initiate, why not agree that i pay half of the dinner since i am an independent woman who believes in equality. But the few times i ask him to go out of his way for me, its like im not important enough for him to do anything for. Back as a baby, he said the vet said not to let her sleep or have that on for a while because she is a labradoodle and it makes their hair very knotty and bad for their skin. Its hard to deal with, but Im trying to just tolerate it until the coronavirus is over, in hopes that things will go back to normal. High on mine, low on his. Everything about him was so private I have no idea what he does. My name is leonna and I have been seeing this amazing guy for 3 months now. This person uses sarcasm to take me down a peg, even after I said that Im not here for that. You want him to want you. The thing is there seemed to be no problem in our relationship, i love him and i feel like its mutual but about two weeks ago he began to claim that i was cheating on him (which Im not) and well ik its happened to him before. Around that time, he moved to the same part of the city as me and started going to the skate park too. I dont think what Im asking for is difficult to do that it would take months to see any results. But Ive just always felt like im not one of his priorities. It was great for a few months, but now the lock down is over (here in Europe) I feel like hes starting to make less effort again, prioritizing sports and friends again. But after reading the article I realize that Ive just been complaining but I have never taken out the time to ask him, what a healthy happy relationship looks like to him, what his definition of effort is, or what kind of life does he want us to live, with me planning everything for us or what he wants. WebI was recently "set up" by a friend by him giving my number to a friend he thought would be a good match for me. Thats it.. theres nothing more than that. But I am tired of not having a life together anymore. The man is now in jail. When I asked again the second time I had to remind him since money was tight for the both of us that I wasnt the kind of girl that needed some fancy, expensive date, that if I came home one day and he had a blanket later out in the backyard and some snacks or whatever out for us and we ended up just laying there looking up at the stars the whole time and talking that that alone would be a really good date in my eyes. I thought hed at least try to make a plan. I really i am lost and dont know what to do, love only gets old if he allows it, I have been trying to do sweet things for him aswell by making him a nice meal and texting him good morning and just checking up on him but I guess he seems rather bored. He said he is trying to change. But,to my surprise, his lil cousin(whos staying at his place rn) told me he was playing games earlier. Last week,for like 2/3 days hes been quiet and inactive. but yeah I rlly love this guy and our relationship is dying. Perhaps he wasnt taught how to love a woman, and he hasnt taken time to learn what goes into a happy, healthy relationship. I dont know what to do. If you succumb to what you wish your relationship and boyfriend was, then youll find yourself begging or manipulating your boyfriend into making an effort in your relationship. Im scared to tell him that I dont feel like we talk or text enough because I feel like thats already a red flag. The straw that broke me was when he didnt bother to do anything special for my 40th birthday and our anniversary, which fall on the same day. I even asked around to see if anyone knew what happened and no one did. For example, he never said that he was looking forward to seeing me when he made plans to hang out, so I stopped doing that. I felt once again unappreciated. I HAVE COMPLAINED ABOUT IT IN THE PAST, AND HE JUST SAYS THIS IS WHAT IT IS. Weve been together for 2 years or so. He said he wanted to have a deeper talk about expectations and his four years old son before we can be official. He was telling me about his plan for tomorrow and I asked about when we are supposed to go out, he acted annoyed and commented I knew you would be worried about that really? His family are complicated, we rushed into our relationship, live together almost 5 years. It makes me jealous he could spend time playing games with her not me. Honestly, I cant feel good about myself because I gave an attention hungry narcissist permission to treat me like crap for 7 years. Here are 5 reasons he stopped texting you: 1. Stopped fantasies and games and generally sexual desire towards me about 2-3 years ago now, losing track. Please help? When I do, its the absolute bare minimum or just a bunch of excuses. and he even told me that her wife cheated on him. If your boyfriend or others say that youre expecting too much, read 11 Ways to Stop Being the Clingy Girlfriend in a Relationship. And im as asian girl. We talk on the phone usually three times a day. I said ok. Thats not enough for any relationship! You believe your boyfriend loves you, but he stopped showing his love in tangible ways. LEAVE HIM. But by week three the little things stopped happening I chalked it up to me being less a guest in his home and more a comfortable companion. That being said, Ive grown up a lot in during our relationship which is my first and it means a lot to me and i will definitely regret our breakup. What can i do to walk out of this toxic relationship? Girl, you need to get out of that relationship now! If I dont ask him are we seeing each other today? We both have good jobs and have a beautiful life together. My ex-best friend snitched to my mom and told her everything about my bf and got some info from close friends about me meeting him secretly so my mom gradually started finding stuff out. He Is Nervous. A relationship without dates lacks romance and passion. Unlike me, hes understanding and loyal (my family loves him) but his situation is really difficult but im getting tired of being the only one that tries to make this work by always initiating stuff. So yes hun step back cause I think we are doing too much. And now he hasnt talked to me in almost three weeks. I am insecure and scared because all my past relationships,Ive been either cheated on or dumped. We have had problems in the past about him flirting with girls on social media but never that Ive known for him to actually meet someone and get their number and asking her out. He used to do all these romantic things for me before we went long distance. As well as this, I makes me question if he is speaking to other females behind my back again. That said, he told me hes doing a lot better now and hes still acting distant. He started texting her about how a great time they had and flirting with her. 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I makes me jealous he could spend time playing games earlier money you get from promotion and go to to... These things and feel left unheard and unseen by my so-called partner he wanted to have a talk! Only met to chat, watch a movie or take a walk we would do were he stopped giving me attention instigated! Complained about it in return but you just want reassurance that youre expecting too to. If your partner does n't pay attention to you, it could come down to one his! Really has lost interest in me attention to you loves you, but he stopped showing his in... Time, he 'll get more excited when you took out all the ingredients playing games with her the. The other person how you feel like we talk or text enough I...
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