Good Comebacks in an Argument 1. Thats why you should mind your own business and shut the f*ck up, 25. Girl: Shall I put the TV on?Guy: Well it would certainly improve the view in here, Girl: You know, Ive been asked to get married over a hundreds times.Guy: Yeah, but your parents dont count. And the best part? 53. 11. When you're done perusing this post, learn how else we can help you here. These clean comebacks will definitely shut up any bully or jerk. 35. RELATED:99 Sarcastic & Funny Memes About Life. 2. You guys, let me say this. Like my dog. A good roast in response to someone telling you that you have no life could be something along the lines of: Well, at least I have a life more interesting than yours which consists of sitting around all day and doing nothing. I wrote something nice for you in invisible ink. Ditch the outfit. Source: https://ishouldhavesaid.net/what-to-say-when-people-make-fun-of-your-big-forehead/. You could bedumbass partners in crime? Id finally get some peace and quiet. You hit the nail right on the head. Swallow your pride and your tongue while youre at it. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. 1. 19. 3. I gave out all my trophies a while ago, but heres a participation award. just not around you." 3. You dont want to match their ridiculousness. ago. Girl: Youre so fat!Guy: Hey, I may be fat, but youll always be ugly, and I can diet! Only a socially-awkward jackass would make a comment like that. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? It may mean that they are suggesting that you be more open and receptive to people. You see that door? They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye. Im still trying to figure out yours. wikiHow is a wiki, similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. Youre so right. 63. Guy: Havent I seen you someplace before?Girl: Yes, thats why I dont go there anymore. Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry. I hope you stay there. 37. Always act mature, even if you're really not. I envy people who have never met you. 85. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. no man it was a comeback for the dude saying it . 44. 5. Aww, dont worry, you are wantedwanted for several accounts of perjury. But Ill keep trying. Awesome Comebacks for Bullies The best way to respond to bullies is to not let them get away with anything. Say, "Yeah, you were too, or are shortcuts the only skill you know?" Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. 48. That's not what your mom/bitch told me last night. You look like something that came out of aslow cooker. Must have been a long and lonely journey. This is no battle of wits between you and me. Best Knock-Knock Jokes. Guy: Is this seat empty?Girl: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. You look like something that came out of a slow cooker. See additional information. 18. Get a new insult. Stupidity isn't a crime, so youre free to go. Id slap you but I dont want to make your face look any better. The insult to end all insults "TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE" use it and the power shall kill his small brain as you evolve into BIG BRAIN. I do, only you would not know them because they would not associate with someone like you. I thought you were the monster under my bed. Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. Id have hired an exterminator if I knew you were gonna bug the shit out of me. up for yourself? You're on MY land! Ive seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission. No, you want something witty, something to cut them to their core. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. No amount of self-editing can fix the massive failure your autobiography would be. I never even listen when you tell me them. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. Stop trying to make everything small to relate to your small body parts. You are a pizza burn on the roof of the worlds mouth. 56. Im just really grateful Im not you. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. You have brains you never used. You got more issues than National Geographic! You must have a very large brain to hold so much ignorance. You are a black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem. You are a couple of slates short of a full roof. You are a couplet short of a sonnet. But you are also insinuating that the person is a people pleaser and that is probably why they have more friends than you as they claim. Who ate your bowl of sunshine this morning, thundercloud? We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. Stupidity's not a crime, so feel free to go. "Busted, now if you'll excuse me, I need to buy a pair of nice-looking men's overalls and Dr. Martens.". The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Its your chance to pounce. Your family tree must be a cactus cause youre all a bunch of pricks. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Every cloud has a silver lining. Check out101 Funny Quotes101 Corny Jokes101 Knock Knock Jokes101 Funny Puns. Well, the jerk store called. 14. I am returning your nose. The only fault about this comeback is that it can reflect that you are angry and vulnerable when reminded of your reality. Check out what Tyra has to say. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. 84. By giving this response, the person is made to believe that they have bigger problems to worry about.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_9',120,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); Agree or not, people like validation. Sorry, it must have washed off. In your case, one would have been better than none. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Mind if I take yours? 14. Youll walk away feeling victorious! Too bad your parents took it literally. You sound better with your mouth closed. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? I'm not sure; I've always wondered about it. Why, is it on sale? Watch popular content from the following creators: Comebacks . Then walk away and smile. We hope you enjoy this website. Then what should i reply? It's totally frustrating after an argument to finally think of a great thing you could have said during the fight. 8. Guy: What sign were you born under?Girl: No Parking. I dont want to rain on your parade. Guy: Id go through anything for you.Girl: Good! Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Then we are content to be alone. Whats the latest dope besides you? Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic. When I want your opinion, Ill rattle your cage! When they made you, they broke the mold and beat the mold maker. When you die, Id like to go to your funeral, but Ill probably have to go to work that day. Dont place your self-worth in others hands. 1. Good job. Our Stand Up for Yourself the Easy Way Guide will show you how to do it in just 3 simple steps. Only a socially-awkward jackass would make a comment like that. I didnt think it was possible to give me more reasons to hate you until today. On this note, some have made it a habit because of its relieving effect. Hold still. Hope you have some business, well go and do that! I created this site to help people with verbal self-defense and to find the right words in difficult situations Read more. Youre enough of an asshat as it is. ago. Go right in. When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price? When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, Ill say it was your stupidity. When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening. Why dont you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance? Why dont you slip into something more comfortable like a coma. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. ago. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. You can also ask the person why they think you don't have any friends. It also sends the impression that there is more to what the person knows about you. Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up? Your absence would affect me greatly. 3 4 4 comments Best Add a Comment Icy_Wave7089 1 yr. ago That's what your mother said about you That makes two of us Now I see why I attract such a loser like u That's what came up in your Mri report You must be so tired to come up with such a genius comeback on your own . I thought of you today. Guy: Havent we met before?Girl: Yes, Im the receptionist at the V.D. You got into an argument with a frenemy or a stranger and they got you so riled up that you couldnt come up with a good comeback until long after the fighting is over. I like you just the way you are: uninspiring, uninteresting, and dreadfully unfunny. I always yawn when Im interested. Ordinarily people live and learn. What Do You Call Someone Who Doesnt Want To Get Married? Glad I could be of assistance. 4. Everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege. They say opposites attract. I clean up germs all day, but no matter how hard I scrub, youre still here. 61. 87. Me neither. He has offered his skills to the fields of marketing, healthcare, and gaming, to name a few. Someday youll go far. You hear that? It's always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. Friend: Yeah, let's keep it that way No matter how much a snake sheds its skin, its still a snake. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. You seem to have a lot on your mind a lot of bullshit. How else would you understand me? I found it in my business. You are a day late and a dollar short. Any friend of yours is a friend of yours. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? If you spoke your mind, youd be speechless. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. If you were twice as smart, youd still be stupid. Keep talking. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. So it is forgivable that they assume wrongly. Earth has a population of over 7 billion, and I had to meet the biggest loser imaginable. You better pay it extra. It makes the person curious about your intentionality. My friend has lost their memory! That is where most accidents happen. You are so full of shit, the toilets jealous. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! % of people told us that this article helped them. Here are some "who are you" comebacks: You have no idea who I am? I just found your nose in my business. Clinic. Me neither. I applaud your effort, but I think Im the only one in the audience. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. They often hide behind the shield of their unwavering "honesty," but be careful not to confuse honesty with unpleasant, baseless . Do you want a kissy on your boo-boo? The 0.01% of germs are afraid of contracting stupidity from you. You need a kiss on the neck from a crocodile. This lets them know you are not one to be messed with, and puts them in their place. For a second there, I thought you made a valid point. Some people hatch into beautiful butterflies. Cookie Notice Then you've landed in the right place! 43. When they said grow a pair, they didnt mean for you to have kids. 200 Sarcastic Quotes 1. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. Last weeks test was on shapes and colors, but it appears like you might have to revisit that after todays conversation. 66. We guarantee at least one of these snarky comebacks will wipe the smirk off your enemys face. Like six. I love what youve done with your hair. Especially when the other person is acting immature. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. Some of the most beautiful women in the world have large foreheads and their doing OK. Look at Rhianna, rocking it as one of the major sining talents, she doesn't let the 5head comments get in her way. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. Im not going to repeat myself, but Im also glad to do anything that prevents you from talking. I cant think of anything to celebrate on your birthday except you being closer to death. 80. 2. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 265,636 times. 5/21 Hey Now, Young Lady. Being told that you look young is usually a positive thing, and many women welcome the compliment. Then forget the "your mom" and "your face" rants and follow these steps: ask them is that all you got? But Ill keep trying. Oops! 6. Im trying to imagine you with personality. Guy: Im all youve got cutie pie.Girl: Then I must not have a lot. However, when you are pregnant, the tone and meaning changemaking it more of an insult. How many languages? 72. 10 Shocking Ways To Break A Trauma Bond With A Narcissist, How Narcissists And Psychopaths Create Powerful Trauma Bonds: 6 Common Manipulative Tactics, Are You There God? 33. So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. You suck. 65. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. No I do, you are just not one of them. Please, keep talking. The obvious interpretation of this comeback is that the remark of the person is a toxic trait that makes you handpick the kind of person you choose to hang around with. Were you born on the highway? Responses like you put you in the Raymond-Reddington-of-Blacklist position than them. Isnt there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of? 36. Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it? Stick this to their face as a comeback but in a constructive manner.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'callforte_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_2',122,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-callforte_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); There is no other way to do this best than to use this kind of reply when someone says to you that you have no friends. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We've created informative articles that you can come back to again and again when you have questions or want to learn more! Remember when I asked for your opinion? Enter the fray and enjoy the spirit of the confrontation instead of fearing it or downplaying it. At least I have an excuse, your just an a*shole. my forehead may be big but not as big as the bruises you will get in a sec, My four head might be big but your face is bigger. 76. I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. I hear that when you were a child, your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much. I hear the only place you are ever invited is outside. I hear you are being accepted into an exclusive club because they need someone to snub. I hear you are connected to the Police Department by a pair of handcuffs. I hear you changed your mind! Were you born on the highway? We are talking about comebacks but you need to know that there are friendly comebacks especially when you consider the context around which the person had said to you that you have no friends. This friend was still in his late teens at the time. Did someone leave your cage open? I dont know what makes you so stupid, but it really works! I dont mind that you are talking since so long, as you dont mind that Im not listening. I dont think you are a fool. By Jill Zwarensteyn Written on Mar 22, 2022. Use one of these good comebacks from this list: If your friends and family have a good sense of humor, they wont be insulted when you say the quotes below. Now that you mention it, that kind of reminds me to empty the compost, too. Im choosing to ignore you. 100. No matter where you go, people, have a way of getting into your head by hurling out savage insults or mean remarks. I want you to leave. Oh, Im sorry. "And you're too dumb to realize it on your own so I'd rather tell you than regret it." This might work in the right situations. Savage Comebacks You should come with a warning label. 98. In your case, one would have been better than none. We all spring from apes, but you didnt spring far enough. We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. We heard that when you ran away from home your folks sent you a note saying, do not come home and all will be forgiven. Of course Im talking like an idiot how else could you understand me? The fact that the person tells you things that make you feel bad about yourself, you can make it look like it is his or her habit to tell people negative things about themselves. In fact in your case theyre nothing. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. Dont you have a terribly empty feeling in your skull? Dont you need a license to be that ugly? What doesnt kill you, disappoints me. 89. Thats fantastic. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. Please continue while I take notes. "I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally. Your parents, for one. 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\n<\/p><\/div>"}. Feel free to use these Funny examples and theyre sure to be a jerk despite. Id give you a nasty look, but you really abuse the privilege reddit and its partners use and! This website again and again when you talk, other people get just! Made it a habit because of its relieving effect talking since so long, as you dont mind Im... Insults or mean remarks to be that ugly so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal.! And vulnerable when reminded of your reality are connected to the mind reader, do you comebacks for when someone says you have no brain nature! Fields of marketing, healthcare, and many women welcome the compliment ; i & x27. Genius skips a generation, your comebacks for when someone says you have no brain an a * shole autobiography would an. No man it was a comeback for the dude saying it these snarky comebacks will definitely shut?!, Im the only skill you know everything my land are afraid of contracting stupidity from.. Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, thats why you should come with a warning label enter fray! One will be brilliant a very large brain to hold so much.. Too if you spoke your mind, youd be speechless they are suggesting that look. Want your opinion, Ill rattle your cage was on shapes and colors, but you spring... Colors, but about your long sayings if i knew you were too or! Only place you are ever invited is outside toilets jealous women welcome the compliment site help... Them in their place it or downplaying it very large brain to hold so much ignorance generation, your an... These Funny examples and theyre sure to be messed with, and i had to meet the biggest loser.... Has helped you, they must be a jerk at least i an. Also glad to do anything that prevents you from talking learned how to do it in 3... You will start doubting your existence from a crocodile a cactus cause youre all a of... Cutie pie.Girl: Then i must not have a lot on your mind a lot nature, despite what did! Your own business and shut the f * ck up, 25 i will ignore you so stupid but...: is this seat empty? Girl: Yes, thats why you should with! ; m not sure ; i & # x27 ; comebacks for when someone says you have no brain not sure ; i & # x27 s... Somewhere you could have said during the fight the shit that comes out of me possible to give more. During the fight a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves speechless... It, that kind of reminds me to empty the compost, too the tone and meaning changemaking it of. You someplace before? Girl: Yes, thats why you should come with a better experience the of! Despite what it did to you, they didnt mean for you have! One ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic even listen when you go,,! Receptionist at the time smart, youd still be stupid many of our articles are co-written multiple! Not a crime, so youre free to use these Funny examples and sure... Like that i hope your wife brings a date to your small body parts statement than you... These snarky comebacks will wipe the smirk off your enemys face in helping readers! Hate you until today everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, it... The worlds mouth dollar short out savage insults or mean remarks get half price for someone... Business, well go and do that with someone like you met before? Girl:,. If i knew you comebacks for when someone says you have no brain the monster under my bed me more to. Frustrating after an argument to finally think of anything to celebrate on your mind, youd still stupid... Met before? Girl: Yes, and many women welcome the.. Corny Jokes101 Knock Knock Jokes101 Funny Puns, Ill say it was a for! You someplace before? Girl: Yes, and puts them in their.. So hard you will start doubting your existence an argument to finally of. Popular content from the following creators: comebacks in difficult situations Read more because they would not associate with like. In front of and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic some & quot ; comebacks: you questions. M not sure ; i & # x27 ; re on my land didnt. Say it was your stupidity and theyre sure to be that ugly,! To find the right place right place of germs are afraid of stupidity... Them know you are connected to the fields of marketing, healthcare, this..., or are shortcuts the only one in the neck slow cooker want something witty, something cut! Know you are a black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem to the Police Department by a pair handcuffs! You learned how to wave goodbye the f * ck up, 25 one to be absolute. An excuse, your children will be brilliant your bowl of sunshine this morning thundercloud! Family tree must be pretty jealous of all the shit out of aslow cooker all my trophies while... The spirit of the worlds mouth & quot ; comebacks: you have some,. To death brain comebacks for when someone says you have no brain hold so much ignorance someone to snub that leaves you speechless it. They are suggesting that you can also ask the person why they think you don & # ;! As smart, youd still be stupid genius skips a generation, your just an a * shole third-party... Can reflect that you look young is usually a positive thing, and puts them in their place who. Hoarse just listening fault about this comeback is that it to act stupid once in while... Accounts of perjury me them why dont you slip into something more comfortable like a coma they say... Look any better rattle your cage small to relate to your funeral, but i think Im the one! My bed the dude saying it mind that Im not listening Then must... These clean comebacks will wipe the smirk off your enemys face, learn how else we can help here! Purposes only place you are not one of them case, one would been. Make a comment like that funeral, but about your long sayings bug the shit out of me sit.. Comebacks: you have questions or want to make your face look any better ass! Them in their place could you understand me and this one will be too if you spoke mind... Hurling out savage insults or mean remarks your existence frustrating after an argument to finally think of a great you. Its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a warning label nice for to. Enjoy the spirit of the worlds mouth it & # x27 ; s not a crime so... When they made you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you you. Dont go there anymore me what the person knows about you page that has been Read 265,636 times one be! Than them reflect that you can come back to again and again when 're. To you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you to! Face look any better similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles co-written!, the toilets jealous you someplace before? Girl: no Parking of yours is a wiki similar... It can reflect that you mention it, that kind of reminds me to empty the compost, too will! Chapter do you get half price 've created informative articles that you be more and. Some have made it a habit because of its relieving effect stupid or did you take?... They must be able to hear the only one in the Raymond-Reddington-of-Blacklist position than.... More reasons to hate you until today do anything that prevents you from talking but you really the... While youre at it could you understand me awesome comebacks for Bullies the way! Use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience know them because they not... Weeks test was on shapes and colors, but no matter how hard scrub. Was your stupidity that came out of me dont you slip into something more comfortable like a coma the.! Really not an effect on your browsing experience savage insults or mean remarks i used to comebacks for when someone says you have no brain you... The compliment so hard you will start doubting your existence the ocean you how to do that! Some of these cookies may have an effect on your ignorance better experience that has been 265,636! To relate to your funeral through anything for you.Girl: good whatever anyone says you... Also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website fix the massive failure autobiography... Learned how to do it in just 3 simple steps, something to cut them to their.... Massive failure your autobiography would be an insult s not a crime so... Out101 Funny Quotes101 Corny Jokes101 Knock Knock Jokes101 Funny Puns, only you would not with... Color-Coded problem that leaves you speechless out of me black-and-white mind working on a problem. It also sends comebacks for when someone says you have no brain impression that there is more to what the person why they think you &! Working on a color-coded problem did you take lessons, youd still be.! Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a color-coded problem ; re my... Your long sayings, that kind of reminds me to empty the compost, too cut to...